Writing With a Little More Depth

The quote above is something that came to me late the other night. I do not know why, but it seemed pretty profound and fitting to who I was and who I’ve become in the past few years. Not only does it have to do with improving my physical self, but ultimately improving on the woman I was and have become. The quote represents something I have always wanted to live by, but it took a long time to realize and obtain that goal.

It took many years of struggling to become who I am today. I look back now and am completely appreciative of the mountains and valleys I traveled through. I have not done it alone, and I would not have been able to do it without the amazing support system that has been placed into my life. From family, to friends, to strangers who I briefly encountered and touched my life, I am now able to see some of the lessons they tried so hard to impress upon me, and took me so long to realize. Private struggles within my own thoughts and public struggles that many can bear witness to have formed a woman that I can confidently say I am proud to be. It’s wonderful to be able to say that openly and honestly.

This weight loss mission I embarked upon is, I believe, one of the final puzzle pieces I will place in this picture I have painted. The emotional part of it was one of the hardest things to complete, but do not doubt the effort it takes to completely change your physical being. I think it came last because I was not completely ready to accept myself or completely show the world who I am. Changing your outside has as much to do with your inside as anything. If one isn’t happy with who they are on the inside, I believe it is really hard to take pride in who you are on the outside. This may just be in my case, but this blog is all about sharing what I’ve gone through with everyone around me and even those strangers who may pass through.

Granted I am now coming into my own, I vow to myself to never be complacent with my journey. I no longer want to be happy with standing still, or just accept this is who I will always be. I want to always strive to be a better version of me. I know I’ve said that a lot in this blog, and maybe I say it so much because I want to always remind myself of my goals and it helps to keep me accountable. Even though I may achieve who I ultimately want to be physically today, I know that going through life I will always face challenges both physically and emotionally. I want to always be able to live up to this quote and I want to never find myself as lost as I was before.

This may be a weight loss blog, but I believe that life is about more than what’s on the outside. I said I would always be honest here, and that is what I am being today. Changing physically will most likely cause anyone to change on the inside as well, or it could happen the other way around as it did in my case. If one person reads my ramblings and is touched or can say “I’ve felt this way before, and I understand,” then the mission of these writings will be complete. I hope that those reading now have a better understanding of who I am and who I’ll always strive to be.

Until Next Time,
Jessica

And Then There's That.

As much as I want to say I’ve stayed on track since the last post, I can’t.
Life happens, as much as we all hate it… it just does. I made some crappy eating choices, but justified them by not getting sauces or fries. I stopped exercising because I just didn’t want to. I think I was kind of in a “funk.” It is HARD to eat healthy, to make the right choices, to change your daily habits. I think I’ve said this before, but it’s just the truth.
Today, kind of like I did last year, I am choosing to be healthy. I didn’t gain back much weight, about 5 lbs. That’s not good. I got “comfortable” with my weight loss and lost track of my ultimate goal. I’m not going to let that happen. I’ve set out to make a better me, and I AM going to achieve that goal.
Today I put on my active living pants or whatever, shoved the ear buds into my ears, put on my sneakers and walked. Yep. I just went for a walk. I had taken this route before with my cousin Brieann so I knew that one time around was a little over 1.8 miles. After my first walk through the “course” I decided to just do it over again. I was fast-walking on Buffalo during rush hour, when I saw another person jogging. She motioned for me to take out my ear bud, so I did. She asked me what size I was wearing and where I had started. I told her, and she told me her stats. We congratulated one another and then we moved on. Just like that, I was more motivated than ever. She’d given me the extra push I needed to make it through the walk. I know I can do this and I know that there are people out there just like me, wanting to do the same thing.
So, get up! Get off the couch! Talk a walk around the block. It’s more than you were doing before.
Until Next Time (which will be more often),
Jessica

Getting Off Track and Finding Your Way Back

Let’s face it: eating healthy all the time and exercising daily is something that is very hard to do. It can get boring and hard to abide by, and it is extremely easy to get off track. The most important thing is that you find your way back.

Recently, I’ve found myself getting off track. I could easily blame it on all the recent events like losing my job and planning my moms surprise birthday party, but ultimately those are just excuses. Sure, some people could just accept those excuses and move on… but let’s be honest: it was easier to be lazy, eat badly, and not exercise than to just do what I needed to do. It was not the circumstances surrounding my life, it was me choosing not to continue on this path that I've created for myself over the past 9 months.

One thing that I do know is that it does nobody any good to wallow about mistakes that are made. When you constantly beat yourself up about a mistake it makes the whole “changing your life” thing become more if a chore rather than a bettering of yourself. That’s not why I started this journey. I was tired of feeling down about myself and wanted to become a better version of who I was. I am done with putting myself down for mistakes I’ve made, and I think that’s a healthy outlook to have on my new life. When I’m not putting myself down (which makes me feel discouraged and depressed) and I actually look forward to what I can do to change- it makes me feel motivated to keep on my journey. During times that I feel down about life or what is going on, I take a moment to look at what I‘ve already accomplished it makes me want to do MORE and to be even BETTER. This is not a temporary change for me, it's going to change the rest of my life and how I live it.

Remember, even though you may fall off track do not feel like you have failed because there is always tomorrow. They key is, that when you make a choice to get back on track tomorrow, you ACTUALLY do it. Don’t let today’s tomorrow become tomorrow’s tomorrow and so on and so on. Everybody makes mistakes on their life’s journey, you just have to bounce back and be even more determined to meet your goals.

Until Next Time,
Jessica

Eating Out

Eating out is one of the most difficult things one may encounter when trying to successfully lose weight. There are so many temptations in restaurants, and let’s face it: portions these days are HUMONGOUS!
The biggest thing I have learned is it’s about making changes to items, and not being afraid of being “rude” for doing so. You’re a paying customer, so getting an entrée the way you want it should not be an issue. Asking to substitute fries for cottage cheese, sliced tomatoes, or a side salad should always be an option. It may cost a little bit more, but it’s worth it.
Another extremely important skill that needs to be learned is self-control. The first time I went out to eat after I started losing weight was to a barbeque place with my parents. I can’t say that they had the healthiest options. So, for dinner I ordered barbecued chicken, and as my two sides I ordered greens and French fries. When the food came the first thing I did was take the skin off of the chicken. Right there I shaved off a bunch of calories. As for the sides, greens aren’t healthy because more often than not they are made with fat/lard, and obviously French fries aren’t good for you. This was my first instance of practicing self control. As hard as it was, I had 3 bites of greens and three French fries, and then I made myself STOP. I walked out of the restaurant not feeling guilty at all!
Another trick I’ve practiced is with salads. Pouring a lot of dressing over your salad can potentially add tons of calories. Creamy dressings are commonly thought of as the worst. The first thing I ask for when I am out is what “light” versions of dressings an establishment has. If there are none, I ask for oil and vinegar. If there are options, I order whatever I’d like on the side of the salad. I used to be a dressing freak. My salads HAD to be covered in dressing. Now, so that I do not miss the taste, I dip my fork in the side of dressing and then gather my bite on it. I end up not even using half of the side of dressing I ordered, and I still have the enjoyment of the taste of the dressing.
Lately my good friend Christi and I have been going out to eat together. We’ve established a routine where we split orders. Last night we split a Cob salad and a pasta dish with a cream sauce, chicken, and shrimp (obviously not the healthiest thing ever). Splitting this with someone else makes me feel so much less guilty! Before, I could have easily finished the whole bowl of pasta on my own. Now, with the salad, I didn’t even finish my half of the pasta. This really helps with portion control, calorie consumption, and spending on eating out!
These tricks are just things I’ve tested and found out work for me. I try not to make eating out a horrible process. I learn tips and tricks and modify dishes to my needs. It’s not an ideal thing to eat out, but it’s something that’s pretty unavoidable. If you can’t make your own meal, have it made to your specifications! Don’t be rude, and be appreciative of your server taking the time to help you with your dish, and you’ll be good to go!
Until next time,
Jessica

Here we go...

With the encouragement of my Aunt Norie and some feedback from friends, I've decided to start this blog.
First off, let me introduce myself (for anyone who may come across this that does not already know me): I'm Jessica, a 23 year old who embarked on one of the most difficult journeys of my life last December: losing weight.
Many people may think it’s easy to take off an extra 15-20 pounds, and it very well may be. It’s a different story when you have well over 100 extra pounds to lose.
I’ve decided that for this blog I am going to be completely honest. I’m not going to hold back, and I’m not going to beat around the bush. So, for my first act of honesty, I’m going to reveal my starting weight. It isn’t fun, it isn’t pretty, and it definitely isn’t something that I’m proud to talk about, but I think it would put what I’m blogging about into real perspective.
My starting weight was 306.5 pounds.
To put it bluntly, I was just plain fat.
To date, I have lost a little over 60 pounds. I have plenty more to go, but I’ve lost that much on my own! It hasn’t been easy, AT ALL, but when I see the results I’m astounded.

This was me at my highest weight and me now, at the smallest I’ve been since high school.
What made me start this journey? One day, I woke up and said enough is enough. I want to be healthy, I want to walk up stairs without being winded, and I want to feel good about myself. One of the silliest, but most honest reasons I started is: When someday, I get married and decide to start a family, I want people to know that I am pregnant, and not just think I’m getting fatter.
That is all it took. I made myself get motivated. I made myself change my eating habits. I made myself start to exercise. That’s the thing. I knew I was fat, people (doctors, an ex-boss, etc.) told me I was fat, but it had to be a decision I made. I had to get to a point where I said “Okay Jessica, do you want to live a healthy, long, active life… or do you want to die early and have health problems because you were lazy?”
Obviously, I chose the first scenario.
So, that’s what this is about. This is about sharing my journey. This is about me hoping to inspire people, even just one person, with everything I’ve felt, found out, and gone through to get where I am and where I am continuing to go.
I hope people are receptive about this idea. I hope people enjoy my thoughts and feelings. Mostly, I just hope that people may learn a thing or two, or maybe feel the same way I have felt and feel now, and see that it’s never too late to change for the better!
Until next time,
Jessica